Advice For Parents Whose Child Is Addicted

Advice for Families of Drug Abusers

When a child becomes addicted to alcohol or drugs, parents often feel helpless. The pain is profound and the frustration mounts over time. Parents worry about the consequences to their child’s health, the impact on their personal relationships, their schooling or their jobs. As the addiction escalates, addiction can have such dire consequences to the child, parents are left wondering if there’s anything that can be done, especially when the child just doesn’t want to be helped. By this time, the family unit has been damaged, relationships are strained or have been suspended. If you’ve been searching “how to help your drug addicted child” on the internet, we’re here to help. Any time a parent first learns of a child’s addiction, there’s a period of denial. Parents will sometimes adopt that attitude of “not my child.” Nothing could be more dangerous. One overdose could be fatal and denial is dangerous.

Start With An Assessment

To truly establish that your child is addicted may take more than just a conversation with him/her. Addicts often deny their addiction until long after they’re caught red-handed. Addiction is all consuming. It is more powerful than friendships, more important that family, and more imperative than one’s selfpreservation. Addicts will lie, cheat, steal and deny because they are no longer themselves. An addict child is not the child you’ve known all their life — they are different people. If a parent can produce irrefutable evidence of drug use, it’s time to step in. Many times, we hear of situations where parents suspected addiction but the child denied it. Parents accepted the denial and the addiction continued for years, sometimes even decades. Denial on the part of the parents can be fatal to the child. Parents of addicts find themselves in uncharted territory. They must be prepared for emotional pain, financial issues and even potential health issues. The family unit as a whole will be strained because of the addict’s behavior which is often highly toxic to siblings. When it’s time to call a professional, there some resources available, many of which offer invaluable advice for parents of addicts.

Resources and Advice for Parents of Drug Abusers

Addiction is one of the most serious challenges a family will ever face. Few things are more destructive to the family’s health, happiness and financial well-being than an addicted child. The natural instinct for many parents is to be the rescuer of the child, and some parents try to manage the addiction themselves. The failure rate for this approach is just shy of 100%. Meanwhile, the child’s addiction deepens and the consequences become more severe.

Consult a Professional: Contact a Rehab or Detox facility. Often times, they will provide a case worker that can help organize and intervention. Choose a rehab facility with a high rate of success, preferably one that is far, far away from the child’s hometown (fewer distractions = higher rate of success) and be sure to check with your health insurance company to see what’s covered.

Conduct an Intervention: If the child won’t go willingly, set up an intervention. You must set hard and fast boundaries and consequences. The child must know that they must accept and treat their addiction to establish a new life, or live out their lives utterly alone.

After Rehab, there’s Sober Living:  Rehab is step one. Step two is learning how to transition to a sober lifestyle. This can’t happen after just 30, 60 or 90 days in rehab. Addicts must slowly segue into their new life and new environment. Bringing a child right back to his/her hometown immediately after Rehab is a bad idea and relapse becomes much, much more likely. [cta id=’269′]

Educate Yourself: While your child is in Rehab, you should take time to learn about the disease of addiction. Some of our favorite materials on the topic include books like Addict in the Family, by Beverly Conyers, Beautiful Boy, by David Sheff, and How to Help the One You Love, by Brad Lamm.

Be Prepared to Communicate: Many families are not adept at learning how to communicate in a manner that works for everyone. Learning each other’s preferred method of communication, polishing your approach and understanding the importance of non-verbal cues are good places to start. Professional help is available so that families can use a mediator of sorts to help establish a healthy pattern of communication. Strong communication ties will be very important to the child when he feels his sobriety is threatened.

Trust But Verify: It is exhausting to monitor an addicted family member.  In all likelihood, trust has been broken, lies have been told, and money has been stolen.  Setting clear boundaries in recovery and establishing rules that will be enforced is key in providing a safe home environment for all.  In the early days after rehab and sober living, verify every activity reasonably possible. Adhere to any consequences that are attached to breaching boundaries or house rules.  People in recovery benefit from having a regular and predictable schedule for daily activities, so maintaining a schedule even when they come back home is another piece of advice for families of drug addicts.

Rejuvenation: Parents of an addict child can become depleted physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  It’s a good idea for parents to take some time fore themselves while their child is in rehab or sober living. Exercise does wonders for the mind as well as the body and so we recommend that parents pick activities that will allow them feel good about themselves. In some cases, a nice vacation might be a good diversion in addition to daily exercise.

Get Professional Help: After your own emotions settle a bit, parents will question themselves. Often, addiction of a child is viewed as a failure of the parent. This will surely give rise to some unpleasant feelings. It’s wise to seek personal counseling for those parents who struggle for answers. Being of healthy mind is a great way to identify unhealthy attitudes in others.